Must admit, I'm enjoying Fake IPL Player's blog (see previous post). Part of the fun is figuring out who's who in the "All characters appearing in this work (blog) are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental and unintentional." Yeah, right!
For those who want a quick and easy ready reckoner to understand the cast of characters, I present the dramatis personae (in order of appearance):
Lord Almighty/Lordie – Saurav Ganguly
Coachie/Bhooka Naan – John Buchanan
New Skipper – Brendon McCullum
Vinnie/Winnie/Badshah Dildo – Shahrukh Khan
Phoren Babus – KKR Coaching Squad: Andrew Leipus (physio), Adrian Le Roux (trainer), Matthew Mott (coach)
Kishen Kanhaiyya Commentator – Ravi Shastri
Sheik of Tweak – Shane Warne
Bevdaa Team – Bangalore Royal Challengers
Big Sister’s Team – Rajasthan Royals
Calypso King – Chris Gayle
Mr. Batlivala – Vijay Mallya
RDB – Ranadeb Bose
Lordie’s troika (the other two) – Sachin Tendulkar and Rahul Dravid
Prince Charles of Patiala – Yuvraj Singh
Little Monster – Sachin Tendulkar
Mammary Land – where Sheik of Tweak is generally found
Pedophile Priest – Adam Gilchrist
Little John – Ishant Sharma
Very Very Special Friend Ram – VVS Laxman
Kaan Moolo/Young former India player who will remain a former India player – Ajit Agarkar
Appam Chutiya – Sreesanth
Bubblie’s Team – Kings XI Punjab
Lordie’s Boy/3rd suspect/Shakespeare – Akash Chopra
Main spinner/Style Bhai Spinner – Murali Kartik
Back up keeper /Reserve keeper – Wriddhiman P Saha
Young Aussie – Moises Henriques
Bangla Tiger/Buddy from Bangladesh – Mashrafe Mortaza
Junta Tormentor – Ajantha Mendis
Baja of Baroda – Anshuman Gaekwad
John Wrong – John Wright
Havai Chappal – Greg Chappell
Sandy Baddy Babe – Mandira Bedi
Commentator who crossed the border – Alistair Campbell
Meera Bhai – Harbhajan Singh
Babli – Preity Zinta
BubLee – Brett Lee
Bunty – Ness Wadia
Joker (TV anchor) – Meiyang Chang (Indian idol 3)
Sheegra-patan – Yusuf Pathan
Akram Azam – Kamran Khan
Ganji Hanger – Sanjay Bangar
Chintu Singh – Anureet Singh
Candy Nickle – Andy Bichel
Big Mac – Matthew Hayden
Big Sister – Shilpa Shetty
Biggest Bevdaa – Jesse Ryder
Peter Ka Beta/Re-Peter – Kevin Petersen
RVR Sing – Vikram (VRV) Singh
Mangal Pandey – Laxmi Ratan Shukla
Gilli Danda – Ashok Dinda
Boy George – Joy Bhattacharya
Little Sister – Shamita Shetty
Let me know if you think I've got any wrong. And I'll continue to update this list as Mr Fake IPL adds to his.
Wednesday 29 April 2009
Paisa mat phekho, tamasha dekho
I'm not watching the IPL matches live on television. I just can't justify the Setanta subscription fees. Especially when the timing of the matches and my working hours mean at most I can watch about 40% of the tournament. Cricinfo allows me to stay in touch with the latest scores from the comfort of my desk. For free!
Of course, following cricket on the internet just does not provide the level of entertainment that watching live cricket does. Which is why the soap opera going on behind the scenes of the Kolkata Knight Riders team goes some way in filling that gap.
If you have absolutely no clue what I'm talking about, start here first:
http://fakeiplplayer.blogspot.com/
And then just to gain a wider perspective on what might be going on, here's Lawrence Booth on Cricinfo:
http://content.cricinfo.com/iplpage2/content/story/401969.html
By all accounts, the Indian media and their audiences are lapping it up. This week, on a long distance call to Dad, he asked for the link to Fake IPL player's blog. Shobhaa De had alerted him to something spicy through her media column.
Even the British media have got wind of this internet phenomenon:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/blog/2009/apr/22/ipl-indian-premier-league-fake-player
Fake IPL Player and his blog have become so big so fast, they have become big news items themselves. A quick (0.13 seconds) google search reveals 158,000 links for him. And part of the blogosphere (including right here) is abuzz with commentary, views and who-be-it. Providing us television deprived cricket lovers with a different way to engage with the IPL.
Of course, following cricket on the internet just does not provide the level of entertainment that watching live cricket does. Which is why the soap opera going on behind the scenes of the Kolkata Knight Riders team goes some way in filling that gap.
If you have absolutely no clue what I'm talking about, start here first:
http://fakeiplplayer.blogspot.com/
And then just to gain a wider perspective on what might be going on, here's Lawrence Booth on Cricinfo:
http://content.cricinfo.com/iplpage2/content/story/401969.html
By all accounts, the Indian media and their audiences are lapping it up. This week, on a long distance call to Dad, he asked for the link to Fake IPL player's blog. Shobhaa De had alerted him to something spicy through her media column.
Even the British media have got wind of this internet phenomenon:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/blog/2009/apr/22/ipl-indian-premier-league-fake-player
Fake IPL Player and his blog have become so big so fast, they have become big news items themselves. A quick (0.13 seconds) google search reveals 158,000 links for him. And part of the blogosphere (including right here) is abuzz with commentary, views and who-be-it. Providing us television deprived cricket lovers with a different way to engage with the IPL.
Monday 20 April 2009
Lalit Modi is the Kerry Packer of our times
Lalit Modi is an innovator. I say this not because he is an original thinker. I'm not sure he is. I say this because he has an incredible talent for making it happen. Against the odds.
Think about IPL 1. Launched at short notice, as a knee-jerk reaction to the modest success of the ICL. No shortage of sceptics. Within weeks the tournament was launched amidst pyrotechnics before and during the first match. Within days, it was clear the tournament was a hit. And the end of the season confirmed just what a blockbuster it was.
Roll on IPL 2. When the credit crunch threatened funding, two debutant English stars were sold for record seven figure amounts. When the timing of the Indian general elections put a strain on security arrangements, lesser mortals might have buckled. Not Lalit. He stuck two fingers to the Indian authorities and used his powers of making it happen to show the South African authorities the riches in store in return for playing host.
Like most innovators, Lalit has his detractors. They abhor his brashness. They hate his lack of respect for the normal rules. And they cringe at the way he tinkers with the game. It's just not cricket, is it? Bollocks! Innovation costs money. Money makes money. And if a 450 second break in between a Twenty20 inning helps keep the game going, so be it.
Kerry Packer was a hated figure among the cricket establishment in the late 1970s. He bought out the national Australian team (and some West Indians and English), which led to the drought in talent that Australia faced through much of the 1980s. Which in turn led to the foundations laid for the Australian dominance we witnessed through the 1990s and that has continued till last year.
Kerry achieved his objective in the end. To secure TV rights for Australian cricket. I'm not sure what Lalit's end goal is. But I'm certain he will make it happen.
Think about IPL 1. Launched at short notice, as a knee-jerk reaction to the modest success of the ICL. No shortage of sceptics. Within weeks the tournament was launched amidst pyrotechnics before and during the first match. Within days, it was clear the tournament was a hit. And the end of the season confirmed just what a blockbuster it was.
Roll on IPL 2. When the credit crunch threatened funding, two debutant English stars were sold for record seven figure amounts. When the timing of the Indian general elections put a strain on security arrangements, lesser mortals might have buckled. Not Lalit. He stuck two fingers to the Indian authorities and used his powers of making it happen to show the South African authorities the riches in store in return for playing host.
Like most innovators, Lalit has his detractors. They abhor his brashness. They hate his lack of respect for the normal rules. And they cringe at the way he tinkers with the game. It's just not cricket, is it? Bollocks! Innovation costs money. Money makes money. And if a 450 second break in between a Twenty20 inning helps keep the game going, so be it.
Kerry Packer was a hated figure among the cricket establishment in the late 1970s. He bought out the national Australian team (and some West Indians and English), which led to the drought in talent that Australia faced through much of the 1980s. Which in turn led to the foundations laid for the Australian dominance we witnessed through the 1990s and that has continued till last year.
Kerry achieved his objective in the end. To secure TV rights for Australian cricket. I'm not sure what Lalit's end goal is. But I'm certain he will make it happen.
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